


Five Things Hawkeye Pierce Secretly Liked About Ferret Fa- I Mean, Frank Burns

by Sab



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: (Uploaded by Punk), Gen, five things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-02
Updated: 2006-09-02
Packaged: 2017-12-03 12:37:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/698305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sab/pseuds/Sab
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Does what it says on the tin. (Uploaded by Punk, from iamsab.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Things Hawkeye Pierce Secretly Liked About Ferret Fa- I Mean, Frank Burns

**Author's Note:**

  * For [marinwood](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=marinwood).



1\. Frank, by which he meant Frank's wife, had superb taste in aftershave. The aftershave she bought for Frank always tasted superb after it had been through the still.

2\. You could always tell when Frank painted Margaret's toenails; the big toe had teethmarks in it.

3\. For a doctor, Frank was a hell of a flyswatter.

4\. When Trapper brought home a business girl from Rosie's, you could always count on Frank to suss out whether she had Communist ties and if she was carrying any extra pairs of stockings she'd be willing to part with at a sizeable medical discount.

5\. Frank Burns would go down in history as the famed thermometer by which one gauged the temperature of Margaret Houlihan's hot lips.


End file.
